“What do you think, Dite?”
“I don’t like makeup. Too much fuss just to paint your face”
“Well that’s because you don’t need it.”
“Nobody really needs makeup. What people need is to feel good about themselves and makeup does it for them.”
“Well then, you must feel great about yourself-“
I barked out a mirthless laugh.
“Not in the slightest. People either hate me for my attractiveness or want me for it. I’m just a barbie doll nobody gives two shits about once they’re done playing with me.”
The caramel girl stared at me with a blank face, no confusion or repulsion, or any hint of emotion.
It felt good to let that out, but guilt crashed into me like a brick wall. I was just laying my problems on this girl who probably had her own troubles to worry about. But I could not take it back, in fact I felt like a small fraction of a weight was lifted off my chest, only to be replaced by another from the guilt of burdening her.
But that weight was soon replaced by Pam’s overly zealous hug. Being the awkward human being I am, I just sat there with my eyes wide and mouth agape. The perfectly sane thought of returning the hug only came to my mind as she pulled away.
“I think your heart is beautiful.”
And that was the first time I smiled for a long time. Not the fake smile I put on in the company of others, but a small, minute, genuine smile that felt foreign to my lips but so right at the same time. I felt a sliver of happiness, something that I have become better acquainted with since that night in our dorm room. All thanks to that beautiful woman – someone I would soon come to know as my best friend.
